sleep deprivation insanity
so, sleep deprivation does weird things to your mind. actually, one of my friends told me that he’s experimenting to see how long he has to keep himself awake in order to hallucinate. i haven’t quite gone that far, but i’m certainly not functioning normally right now.
My impression is that it’s much harder to consciously regulate brain activity when you’re very tired. basically it gets harder to cause uncommon neural pathways to fire and easier for the most common ones to go. like i dunno, whatever one wants to fire does. so as you can see i’m having a hard time expressing my ideas clearly because i can’t choose words very well right now. and you’ll also see that i’m going to ramble like hell until i get bored of writing this post.
so why am i sleep deprived? i guess i should tell the story. so on monday morning I guess I woke up at a fairly normal time, like say 8:00. just guessing. i then began to work on projects, one of which was due on tuesday at 5 and the other on tuesday at midnight. so with the mighty power of energy drinks and bananas, i kept myself awake (but for 2 short naps) from then until now! oh yeah! actually it got kind of bad near the end, I was trying to write programs and they weren’t working well and I couldn’t understand why not. but probably it was simple and i was just too tired to figure it out.
also it might have been a mistake to spend an hour at dinner and 2 hours playing bridge. i also send a long random email to the hot girl that likes to play as my partner in bridge club but is a foreign grad student and wearing a ring on her left ring finger so she’s probably married but i haven’t asked her because that seems a weird question and anyway even if she’s not why would she give a second thought to a worthless dude like me. but anyway now’s not the time for such considerations.
oh man so i dunno like i just want to say stuff but there isn’t anything to say. asdfasldgh well this is pretty crazy. i’ll just ramble meaninglessly until things happen. oh man i want to become an expert in machine learning and code up some killer automated trading strategies and be a rich bastard! i want to be the next ray kurzweil! i am reminded of the talking heads song … uh… is it “the book i read”? or “first week/last week”? i think it’s “the book i read”. and he says at one point “i’m so ambitious” …. oh man i love talking heads, david byrne is the man. so was tommy makem, so sad that he has died. only liam clancy left. that man owns too.
my back hurts from sitting hunched in front of my computer for like 36 of the past 42 hours. its just wrong. i really need to start exercising again. well i guess i can start going to the gym as often as every day if i want! well i suppose i should go to sleep soon, i’m starting to come off the caffeine high from the energy drinks i had. dude i’m really crashing. it’s weird to be able to notice it as it happens. like i have stayed up late and had ups and downs of awake-ness before, but i’ve never crashed this quickly and noticably. weird! well i guess i’ll be passing out soon but for now i shall ramble on some more before that!
god this post is so badly written. i don’t even know what i sound like. i cant possibly sound like a little kid. i probably sound drunk. don’t they say that? tiredness is equivalent to drunkenness? i wonder to what extent its physiologically similar. like maybe alcohol has a similar effect on neurotransmitter activity or whatever the change is when you’re tiredc.
oh yeah i relearned how to solve the rubik’s cube recently. apparently hardcore dudes oil their cubes with vaseline or something like that in order to make them rotate more easily. i am tempted to do this because i already damaged one of my cubes by rotating it too vigorously. the cube is so mathematically interesting. so is bridge. i want to get some bridge books to read this summer. i could totally be a beast at bridge if i put my mind to it. im going to have plenty of time for stuff this summer so I really should become good at something. or accomplish some goal. seriously.
read brothers K by dosty
get back in shape by going to the gym regularly, and actually lose more weight too
practice contest math a bit
practice bridge for the national championships
get better at programming
perhaps even learn to play the theremin as well!
get drunk (this has never happened to me before! but maybe at my next birthday party it will. i’ve got a lot of booze in here for that purpose right now)
yeah dude some of my friends are awesome. but i really don’t have many friends. it’s kind of sad in a way. i dunno i just don’t get close to people. i wish i could. :-/
how come i get into depressive thoughts so easily these days? maybe i should actually go see the docs here. maybe they’ll give me some pilllz. happy pills! i wonder …
all right screw it this post is over. BLAM rat-tat-tat blood is everywhere and all the people are screaming and dying! the people being, uh, that part of me which is writing htis post? oh god i have so much work to do tomorrow